Fangover Day 10: A Bill By Any Other Name...

When Bill Compton emerged from the puddle of blood a new man with new long, sharp, pointy fangs, I didn't know what to think.
I still don't.

Where is my handsome Southern gentleman caller? I loved Original Bill. He was everything you'd want in a lover -- kind, gentle, considerate and a vampire.
I loved that no matter what or who Sookie was doing, you knew Bill had her back.
Now he wants her back, perhaps as an appetizer.
I hoped all season long that Bill was playing a deep game. I thought he probably was faking being a sanguinista, infiltrating them to stop their plot to become the master race.
Now, I'm troubled. After symbolically drinking the kool-aid, he drank the kool-aid for real, with vamp-changing results.
I am curious whether Bill will be able to shower off the viscera and put on regular clothes, or if now he can only appear by special appointment and clad only in blood. Ugh.
Perhaps like a baby vamp, right now he is orienting himself to his new powers (if he has any new ones) and will become a little more Regular Bill-like as time passes.
I hope he becomes a gentle ruler of all vampires, not a vicious, bloodthirsty and bordering-on-insanity vamp.
Poor Sookie. All this time she thought she had a Vamp-in-Shining-Armor as her neighbor. Now, for all she knows, she has Vlad the Impaler.
All that said, I refuse to call him the nickname that sprang up about the same time he did.
Think I'll just call him Bill 2.0.

Fangover Day 9: Ah, Sookie

Considering the other four seasons of "True Blood," Sookie Stackhouse had a relatively quiet few days in Season 5.

It did literally start with a bang. Two bangs in fact. The first went to Tara's head as she threw herself in front of Sookie in one of most selfless acts I've ever seen.

The second was the shot that killed Debbie Pelt, one that I thought was long overdue.

I was surprised Pam showed up and not Eric or Bill, but as I said before, they were snuggled in the trunk of a car headed to Authority Central. 

Sookie and Lafayette had to do some serious begging to persuade Pam to turn Tara, and after some skillful negotiating, Pam agreed to turn Tara for a favor to be named later.

Sookie's relief at Tara's rising as a vamp was short lived as Tara took one enhanced sniff of her best friend and decided she would make a great first meal.

Pam's quick moves saved Sookie from being a snack, but our girl soon realized she would need to find a new bestie.

Lafayette stuck around for a day or two to help her cope and clean, but he was one of the next people to tell her what a dangerous friend she was to have.

Yes, our Hookah was grieving for both Jesus and his cousin, but I don't think he needed to be quite so cruel to Sookie, because she had lost a former lover, a current lover and a best friend in less than 24 hours.

I think her decision to get drunk was long overdue, and Alcide dropping by was a nice distraction and a chance for her finally to have some kind of physical relationship with someone, well, who was not a "dead boy." 

It was a real pity her stomach and Eric and Bill all contrived to ruin that idea, and fast.

I considered the hangover she must have been nursing while trying to deal with her pet vampires, and don't blame her for practically screaming at them, "It must be Thursday."

She didn't have much to do in a couple of episodes that focused mainly on the Authority, Lafayette's trip to Mexico, Jason and Jessica's relationship, Terry's wild ride and Russell and Steve's Excellent Adventure.

Her real-life pregnancy made it necessary for us to see less of her, and that allowed so many other characters to get a bit more screen time, but while we might not have seen her, she was busy in the background doing things for others.

Personally, after this season, I wish she could have a bit of rest. I realize most of the folks in Bon Temps think she had a year-long vacation while she was in Faery, but she didn't get any down time.

She has a lot of information to process right now, and probably not much time to do it.

She seemed quite surprised to see Tara and Pam kiss, but by then she was pretty shocky. Her brother has a head injury and while Sook doesn't realize he's seeing and talking to his parents, she knows he's a bit more vacant than usual.

Probably the biggest shock for our girl is what has happened to Bill. I think she always believed that Bill would love her forever, no matter what he said, but after his spectacular parlor trick of rising from a pile of goo with some pretty bitchin' fangs, she's not so sure.

Eric, who at the beginning of the season had written Sookie off, saw he might still have a chance with her and got her out of the room as fast as he could, but the new-and-perhaps-improved Bill may be faster.

It's a bit disheartening to believe that for the next nine months in True Blood time, Sookie is running.

I hope she's not too exhausted when Season 6 kicks off next year.

Fangover Day 8: Arlene and Terry and Andy, Oh My!

This year, the main focus of True Blood was vampire business to the point nearly everyone else's business focused on it too.

There were exceptions, and we're peeking in on those today.

I thought Terry and Arlene's story line this year was stupid. Why did Rene even show up at the end of last season? She paid no attention to that Halloween visit and welcomed Patrick with open arms, even when Terry clearly was not glad to see him.

Patrick's role was pretty much a place holder so Terry and Arlene, perhaps the only happily married couple in Bon Temps, could have their own story line, miss each other and take right up with their lives next season.

We all knew Terry has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but we didn't know why. Seeing Patrick brought back both those memories and his terrible mental state.

A slaughter in an Iraqi village was no big plot  surprise until one victim cursed the soldiers who shot her.

She calls up in Ifrit, an Arabian fire monster, to stalk and kill them..

I’ll give them that. The Ifrit was cool.

Terry’s road trip was a waste of plot time we’ll never get back, and the lone soldier in the Dakotas was only there to be Ifrit food.

Arlene though, had a better season. She knew something was wrong, really wrong with her husband and started asking for help – first Holly, then Lafayette.

Wasn’t the séance great?

 Patrick got a big dose of “Damn it’s real!” and Terry, who had already accepted his death, got a chance to redeem himself when Lafayette channeled the Iraqi woman.

His apology, while it didn’t fix everything right away, got Terry the forgiveness he needed, but with one caveat. He had to kill Patrick.

We all know what happened next. I’m glad Arlene had the gumption to fight for Terry and her children herself, giving Terry the courage to do what needed to be done to Patrick and get his life on track for the first time in a long time.

It’s all sunshine-and-roses between Terry and Arlene now but I’m thinking they won’t be having any more kids right now.

Surprisingly, Andy Bellefleur will be the one on Daddy Duty.

His night with Murella and the ET-like finger touch cost the sheriff dearly, though that birth scene was much needed comic relief. Like everyone else, I think if we orgasmed  while giving birth, there would be a lot more people on this planet.

I’m not clear that all four babies are girls. I’d like to think there are two boys in the mix. Whatever, Andy will have his hands full  and a whole lot of explaining to his grandmother when he brings those bundles of joy home.

We can only hope those half-fairy babies will grow up at super speed and they’ll be school age in no time. And, even if they are telepathic, I don’t think Sookie is going to start a career as a tutor.

And it can’t have been only me, but I wonder when Chris Bauer started working out, because wasn’t he a buff boy this year? Perhaps it was knowing he had to do a nude scene at last.           



                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Fangover Day 7: Lafayette and ...

When Marnie-as-Lafayette killed Jesus, I was mad.
Finally, our favorite Merlotte's cook and medium found his true love and that bitch took him away.
In "True Blood's" first episode of Season 5, I honestly thought Lafayette might not make it through.
I loved Gran's return from the grave and her taking care of Marnie, but the shell of Lafayette was so weak. Then, when his cousin is shot by that bitch Debbie Pelt, well it was almost more than a man could stand.
I was glad Pam agreed to turn Tara, because it gave Lafayette a chance to want to live. That long night, waiting to see if Tara would awaken in a new life, was a bad one for our boy.
And, when he decided to clean up and reached for that razor...
I like Lafayette's new look, and after he preached at Sookie about leaving a trail of dead bodies in her wake, I still was a bit worried.
I think everyone was scared when he started doing strange things around Merlotte's kitchen and actually tried to kill our favorite telepathic/fairy/waitress. It certainly scared him.
His haring off to Mexico to discover what was happening to him was a misstep in the season I think, but I was glad to see the poor pregnant wife take her husband out before he could do any more damage.
I like to think Jesus will visit Lafayette from time to time, because after the last visit, we got our swaggering, bodacious, gayer-than-gay Lafayette back.
It was like Springtime to see him return with his glittery makeup and outfits, that smart mouth going ninety-to-nothing and his swagger, and totaly bad-assness intact.
The season finale brought it all home.
First, he changed the tunes playing in the club to a much more jazzy blues, and I agree it was a welcome change from that redneck music we generally hear.
When he came out with Cajun Margaritas and a pithy play-by-play of Maurella's delivery of a litter of fairettes with the equally funny Arlene, you could tell he was in a better place.
Has he found some kind of inner peace at last? That being said, what will next season bring?
I have an idea.
There is a Gay-American-Vampire on the run right there in the neighborhood. He doesn't know many people in the neighborhood and most of the ones he knows are down in New Orleans with a newly-risen Bill at the Authority.
Yes, Steve Newlin would be just the thing for Lafayette.
Lafayette has a history of doing bad things with vamps. He has no problem either using or selling "V," and Steve could use a little more soul, don't you think?
I do hope they let these two fabulous men hook up. Can you see the fun they'd have and I'd give a lot of cash to see Steve's face when he got a look at all the religious icons inisde Lafayette's house.
'Nuff said. Bring it on.

Fangover Day 6: Pam and Tara: I called it: "Hell on Wheels"

During the pre-season "Fangathon," I made some predictions about what would happen during Season Five of "True Blood."
The one I was happiest about was thinking Pam and Tara would wind up together and would be "Hell on Wheels."
It took all 12 episodes to get them there, but the season finale gave us what we wanted -- a hot, steamy kiss between Tara and Pam.
Let's look back over their stormy relationship these past 12 episodes.
Pam did Sookie and Lafayette a big favor by turning Tara, and her warning of Tara turning into a "Fucktarded" vampire was not even her best line.
I will always remember her dressed in one of Sookie's sweatsuits from Wal-Mart, taking one for the team as she went to ground with her new child.
I loved how, even though she tried to keep up the tough as nails exterior, Pam was kind to Tara from the beginning, soothing her in every way she knew how except sexually. She got Tara willing donors and one bitch of a woman who was mean to Tara became her slave.
They shared "dinner" that night, but Pam made sure Tara didn't make more of it than intake of needed calories.
I enjoyed seeing Tara dressed in some seriously hot outfits. She looked the best I've ever seen her, even though she could not believe she found herself behind a bar again, this time at Fangtasia, working for her Maker.
After Eric released Pam, I think Pam cherished Tara even more, though it was hard for her to admit it. Since they didn't part on any sort of bad terms, I know Eric will be back around the bar when he can, and I look forward to the interplay between the Viking and his grandchild. Yeah, Eric's her grand-maker.
Tara, at first so angry at becoming the thing she hated most, started to enjoy her new-found powers and her growing attraction to her Maker.
What's not to love about Pam? She always looks hot (even in yellow sweats), gets all the best lines and keeps her kick-ass attitude front and center at all times.
When the new Area Five Sheriff showed up and started extorting money from Pam, Tara didn't hesitate.
She took action.
Uttering one of my season-favorite lines: "I don't know nothing about birthing no vampire babies,"  she beheaded the sheriff.
As a total aside, I totally loved the outfit Pam was wearing when she took the blame for the sheriff's death and was arrested by Rosalyn. The waist cincher was too, too cute, and Pam looked great in it, even lying in a prison cell.
When Tara and Sookie showed up in the Authority prison to free them, watching Tara go into action was wonderful.
She finally, fully inhabited her role as vampire and accepted that Sookie and Lafayette did her a favor by getting her turned rather than letting her die, though she did not let Sookie forget for one second that she owed Pam.
When Tara grabbed the silver door of Pam's jail cell and grabbed Pam, all wishes were granted.
Tara got a real kiss from her Maker, Pam realized that Tara could be "The One" and kissed her right back. Sookie's debt to Pam was retired and for a split second, all was right in the world.
Heaven knows what will happen in 9 months, when Season 6 kicks off, but I think "Hell on Wheels" is on.

Fangover Day 5: Jason's 19th Nervous Breakdown

Jason, Jason, Jason.
What a season you're had.
In the space of 12 episodes you went from the biggest slut in the parish to a man who turned down an eager college coed, a fairy and finally the girl I think you really love (even if she is a vampire).
You also lost your best friend and support system by banging his ex-girlfriend before he had gotten over her, causing a breach that broke Hoyt's spirit and trust in anyone from his home town.
Most of all though, you were trying to grow up. I was so proud when you gently disengaged from the college girl, made her put on more clothing and drove her back to her dorm.
I frankly was floored, but could see you had matured.
You  also starting falling for Jessica, considering a real monogamous relationship, not realizing Jessica still wanted a chance to play around. Forever is a long time when you measure time in millenia.
It didn't matter really, the feelings between you and Jess are real, try though you might to deny them.
The real trouble started when the Judge took you and Andy to the Fairy Bar. When you saw Hadley and learned that Hunter was there too, you were at first happy they were both alive, then shocked to learn that the Fae wanted your sister there as soon as possible, and forever. You learned about the allure of Fae blood to vampires.
The big blow, though, was learning that vampires, not a flash flood, had killed your parents. When you caused a scene at the club, you were ejected by white light, which finally clicked on the bit of Fairy in you. You started hallucinating about your parents, and it seemed so real.
That caused a major crack in the armor built of your beliefs.
Because you enjoy detective work, you grabbed Sookie and headed back to the Fairy Bar, not just for you, but for your sister to hear she was in danger from the men she loved and maybe she should spend some time relaxing at the club.
In the middle of this, a gang in Obama masks started shooting shifters. Sam Merlotte was great at tracking the group and you discovered retired sheriff Bud Dearborn and his girlfriend were behind it.
You got to the hog farm just before Bud was going to kill both Hoyt and Sookie, and though it cost Bud his life, you saved two of the most important people in your life.
You hoped that this event would help heal the breach between you and Hoyt, especially when he invited you to meet him at Merlottes.
You were surprised when you saw Jess was already there, but heartbroken when you discovered the reason he had called you there.
First, how could Hoyt just leave Bon Temps for Alaska, and worst of all, ask Jessica to glamour him so deeply he would forget his relationship not only with her, but with you too?
You could understand he wanted a new start, but how, really, could he do it without you? He's your Bubba, your running buddy, your very closest friend. You were heartbroken, and though you'd never heard the word, bereft.
Things continued to fall apart when you and Sookie discovered the clue about what was going on with the Stackhouse family under Gran's bed. Neither one of you could make head or tail of the strange document.
Back to the Fairy Bar you went. Learning your sister has been pledged to someone named Warlow 300 hears ago -- whom the Fae imply is a vampire -- ripped the walls down. You were determined to protect your sister with everything at your disposal.
You left Sookie there, sure she would be safe and cared for.
You had no idea that Russell Edgington was so much closer than you knew, and you can't help that you get glamoured with ridiculous ease. You ratted their location right out and not even the eldest Fairy there could survive a full-on onslaught of a ravenous and raving vampire.
Russell sent you flying, and you hit your head -- hard -- when you landed.
You missed Russell's inglorious end, but when you awoke, you found your parents were with you, standing right there, telling you to take care of your sister and to start killing vampires.
Since those desires dovetailed so nicely, you went right along to the Authority with Eric and his sister Nora, as well as Sookie's best friend Tara, now a vampire too.
What's a man to do? You did well. You armed yourself to the teeth with all manner of  weapons designed to kill vampires, and went to work. With your parents egging you on and seeing and smelling the blood and the muck of dead vampires, your grip on sanity finally slipped away.
You looked at the woman you love straight in the eyes and told her you could never, ever, love her. Then, you just went on, oblivious to the sound of her heart breaking.
Right now, you're in an elevator with four vampires and the voices in that damaged head are telling you that you could take them out too.
Man I hope your sister gets to you before you try.

Fangover Day 4: Adios, Hoyt

There has been only one truly normal guy in Bon Temps.
Yeah, he started out a bit of a mama's boy, but he grew up and we watched him do it.
He met a nice dead girl, fell in love for the first time and wanted to spend a really long time with his flame-haired lover.
Poor Hoyt.
His karma pretty much was "Day late, dollar short."
How was he to know his virginal little vampire Jessica was on a learning curve so steep only a fighter jet could keep up, and sadly, that fighter jet was his best friend, stud muffin Jason Stackhouse?
When Jessica and Hoyt's relationship went up in flames last season, we all were a little worried about Hoyt would do.

 

Actor Jim Parrack put in an amazing performance as the heartsick, angry and hurt  young man this season.
No one felt too bad for Jason when Hoyt pounded on him, even though Hoyt and Jessica were broken up before Jason slept with the baby vamp.
I was happy he had plenty of other friends to hang with, but it seems like his broken heart gave him both an attitude and a death wish.
I could understand his Fanger look. He thought if he lived that way, perhaps Jessica would see him with other vampires and be jealous, and if that didn't work, maybe one would kill him.
He needed rescuing, but by anyone but the hate-group nicknamed the Obamas.
They turned his grief to disgust and the easily-swayed Hoyt found himself kidnapping the girl who caused all this troubles.
It's good he is easily swayed or we'd be short one Jessica Hamby, as the Obamas  were happy to let Hoyt kill her himself.
By now, Jess has realized how deeply she hurt her first love, and pleads for her life. Hoyt has a lightning bolt of clarity and frees her, nearly getting killed in the process.
When Sheriff Andy Bellefleur and Deputy Jason Stackhouse break up the Obama gang, Hoyt is injured, but alive, and both Jessica and Jason can see what their feelings have done to the once sweet, kind Hoyt Fortenberry.
His next request was a stunner and was the catalyst for the most wrenching scenes in "True Blood" history.
When Hoyt realized Bon Temps was really too small for him, Jason and Jessica, he pulled himself together and made the necessary decisions that would allow him to move forward and have a chance at a happy life.
I will never forget the knot in the pit of my stomach when Hoyt demanded Jessica glamour him, wiping out all memories of her altogether, and memories of his friendship with Jason starting in childhood.
It was perfect. He allowed himelfs a clean break and gave was the perfect punishment to the two people who loved him the most. I don't see how Jessica and Jason can get past this and have a romantic relationship. Hoyt has put himself between them, even though he is off to Alaska to try his fortune.
The glamouring scene made me cry. I'm sure I wasn't alone. It broke my heart that such a kind, sweet man as Hoyt felt his only recourse was to pretend it never happened.
The scene where Jason uses his patrol car to pull Hoyt over on his way out of town was brilliantly poignant. Jason started in with his standard lines and Hoyt pretty much gave a psychic sucker punch to Jason when he had no real idea that he and Jason had any history.
I hope Hoyt makes some good friends in Alaska, makes some money and meets a girl who will know what a gem Hoyt is, snatch him up and make him a happy man.
I hope too he brings that woman back to Bon Temps so we can meet her.