Day 30: Hello, Season 5

Thirty days ago I couldn't imagine writing my last post of this Fang-a-thon.
It's bittersweet.
That said, this post is going to either prove I have a preternatural power of observation or I'm a complete loony, because I'm going to speculate about how Season 5 will go.
First, I read the downloaded script pages and I laughed and laughed. Since this is a spoilerish-topic, I won't say what I saw, but I will say this.
Russell Edgington will fall head-over-fangs in love with Steve Newlin. It's perfect. Steve is as shallow and as well dressed as Talbot ever was and Russell will love showing the former head of Fellowship of the Sun the vampire ropes and cavorting with him behind the closed bedroom door.
It appears Hoyt is either going to be a fangbanger or turn into a complete vamp-hater. He may be both. It make take him all season to transition from one to the other, but Jessica broke his heart and her feelings for Jason broke his spirit. He's a different sort of "Lost Boy" and I hope he can find a way back to the sweet guy he was.
I believe Eric will be the man to turn Tara. He will turn her over to Pam to teach her, and those two are going to recognize kindred spirits and they are going to be hell on wheels this season.
They will be the female version of Russell and Steve. Pam will love having another woman around, especially another bi- woman, and Tara will enjoy exacting revenge on all the men and women who screwed her over in her life.
Bill and Eric are obviously going to become great friends at last. I think they'll both show up at Sookie's house in the first 60 seconds of "Turn, Turn, Turn," and while Sookie will be glad of their company, she won't want much to do with them.
Jessica is going to get to Jason in the nick of time, chasing Steve straight into Russell's arms. This season I think the deadly redhead and her boy toy will explore the depths of their attraction to each other.
I also wonder if one day Jason will open his front door and be confronted by half of the women from Hot Shot and their babies. Payback's a bitch, kids.
Also, while Andy Bellefleur is courting Halleigh the waitress, he will be confronted at some point by either a pregnant fairy or one with a baby who looks remarkably like him. Andy's going to have some 'splaining to do, and he'd going to have to think fast.
I think Alcide will make a play for Sookie this season and will be the main man protecting her from Russell's thirst for more of her intoxicating blood. I don't know how far they will go, because Alcide also has a lot of pack business to deal with, and he will wind up Packmaster.
Debbie Pelt's parents will come looking for their daughter and Sookie's conscience will bother her, but not so much that she will confess she knows literally where the body is buried.
Sam, who will at first be blamed for Marcus' death, will be saved by Alcide, but how will Luna explain to Emma that her dad is dead and Sam was there when it happened? They'll have a tough time this season.
Lafayette will be in mourning for Jesus and Tara and even if his boyfriend's spirit drops by to keep him company, right now he blames Sookie for at least half his problems. He will have to come to terms with his magical powers before he can be of any use to anyone else.
Arlene's marriage to Terry may be in jeopardy since Patrick has come back. Terry and Patrick are not going to be doing anything good, but it should be interesting.
Last of all, the Authority and Nora will at first hunt Eric and Bill, then assign them to take care of Russell Edgington before he can kill too many more humans. It will be intriguing to see Eric and Pam's backstory, as well as see how Eric and his "sister" Nora interact. From the trailers, it seems Nora can give Sookie a run for her money where Eric is concerned.
Sookie is going to have a rough year I think. Bill and Eric will be MIA from Bon Temps, Russell is surely coming for her and bringing Steve along for the fun of it, Alcide will be doing his best to protect her but pack business will interfere, Jason will be his scatterbrained self and will forget his sister might need him, so she's going to have to depend on herself to keep safe and sound.
And, one more thing, as the season goes along, we'll be less and less of Sookie, and I mean that since she's expecting in real life, camera angles will be higher and higher and I've heard she'll be carrying a big purse in front of her in any long shot.
I'm ready. Bring it on.

Postscript: I already know I'm wrong about one big thing. I watch the spoilers and I should have gone with my gut with Tara. Oh well.

Day 29: Oughta Be An Otter

I love otters.
They're lovely, graceful creatures who live in and around water. They like to hang out in groups and they seem to have a real sense of humor and love to have fun on a regular basis.

Personally, there's nowhere I'd rather be than in, or near the water. I like water parks because they combine water and playing in a delightful way.
That being said. If I were a shifter, I'd want to change into an otter at every opportunity.
It's a too bad really, because I realize this means I'd need to stay away from the Bon Temps/Shreveport area because of the werewolves and werepanthers who hunt in the area. Also, I'd have to really pay attention to all the pesky alligators who live around the area.
It's also a shame because I'd like to invite one bar/restaurant owner in Bon Temps to come shift with me one full moon. Or, maybe two. Or three.

You get the idea.
However, if there were someone in Bon Temps who needed a roommate, say a telepathic waitress who lived alone in a big, rambling house in the country, I could stick close to the house, maybe invest in an above ground pool for us and that's where I'd play when there was hunting in the area during full moons.
It would be a win/win situation. I could help with bills as well as buying the pool, and I could entertain Bill and Eric while Sookie was getting ready to go out with one or the other.
I could even bring home the occasional fish for supper.

Then, a few times a year, I could fly out to spend time with the otter shifter communities scattered throughout the U.S. and spend time with them as well.
I believe it's a workable plan, but I do have one question.
How much rent do you think Sookie will charge me?

Day 28: Hooligans

In Charlaine Harris' books, Claude Crane owns a strip club called "Hooligans."
While it appears to be a run-on-the-mill club featuring both female and male strippers, the majority of them are supernatural beings of one type or another.
In the later books, it is a haven for elves, goblins, fairies and other non-human folk who need a place to be themselves, albeit in disguise.
"Deadlocked" opens with a girl's night out at the club and we are treated to descriptions of various men, their costumes and the ruckus they cause.
I'd like to propose a post-Fangathon night out at Hooligans for all of us who have tried to stave off fangovers by writing every night.
Let's say, next Tuesday night we all meet at Hooligans for a night of fun and frivolity and since it's just us, maybe we can convince our favorite characters to take it all off for us.
I feel strongly that Sookie will sit at the table with us, but for the rest, it's fair game.
Here's what I'd like to see.
Eric Northman: I'd love to see him come out covered in furs that he can drop with tantalizing slowness to "Lady Marmalade." I'm bring $20 one-dollar bills all for him.
I can see now I'm going to be broke by the end of the evening.
King Bill Compton: I think he can afford to have one of his suits altered with velcro and come out dressed to the nines. He can strip to ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man" and I'm probably going to spend $20 on him too.
Pam Ravenscroft: She should come out in some teasingly little red leather outfit, complete with whip. Devo's "Whip It" comes to mind, and though I don't play for that team, I'd spend $5 or so. The men will pay considerably more.
Lafayette Reynold: He'll come out dressed out in complete chef's regalia and shake his moneymaker to the Kink's "Lola." Another five bucks here.
After seeing the MTV movie awards, Alcide Herveaux must come out dressed as a fireman. Holy cow he looked good. His song? "Hungry Like the Wolf" of course. He'll get about $15 from me.
Tara Thornton: She'll be taking off an animal print ensemble of course to the suggestive moaning of Lou Reed's "Take a Walk on the Wild Side." She gets five ones from me.
Sam Merlotte: He can make a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt look so good, he gets to dress in full Western gear from hat to boots and of course will strip to "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" and he'll get 15 bucks from me.
Jessica Hamby: I loved her Little Red Riding Hood outfit so she can wear that and disrobe to Elvis' tune "Devil in Disguise." $5 from me.
Hoyt Fortenberry, Jason Stackhouse and J.B. du Rhone: They may not be supernatural, but they are spectacularly handsome, so they will be in the big finale. Hoyt will wear construction gear, Jason a police officer's uniform and J.B. a military uniform. Because of their outfits, we bring out the Village People's "Macho Man" for them. That'll be $5 each.
Whoa. That's $105 before drinks. They'd better be really good.

Day 27: A Whole New Dimension

Most of the characters in True Blood can become a bad-ass if the situation is right.
Every single character will fight viciously when threatened, but there exists one group who can kick anyone else into the middle of next week. The Britlingen Collective.
In the books, Sookie met them during the the Vampire Summit in Rhodes when she sees two strangely-dressed women. They are wearing black clothing resembling body armor and their demeanor is all business.
Sookie discovers that not only are these woman not human, they're not from any place around here.
People  who use the collective need bodyguards whose sole aim is to do whatever it is their boss of the moment needs, no questions asked. The Britlingens clients pay handsomely because the soldiers don't stop until the job is completed.
Their sole rule?
"What is the law?'
"The client's word."
They must be summoned by a witch from their dimension and when they arrive, it's up to the witch to negotiate their contract with their guild and then send them home when their contract is up. They do not leave until it is completed to the letter.
Needless to say, they are extremely well paid.
I'd love to meet one of these women. In my mind they're dressed a good deal like Kate Beckinsale in the "Underworld" movies.

They are lethal weapons whose mercenary ways make them impossible to corrupt.
Personally, I think Bill and Eric would each pay half and hire one to protect Sookie. Think how many hospital visits Sookie would miss by having someone there who could fight any supernatual person and kill them without mercy or regret.
On second thought, Sookie would hate having someone protecting her all the time. She does love to take care of herself, but maybe the idea of having one she could call on when she needed one would make her accept having one around.
They would make an interesting addition to the show, and their basic existence would give the show an extra layer, to the point we could see their homeland, much like we got to take a look at Fae.

Day 26: Who I'd Turn and Why

I have loved Sting since I first heard the Police's first album.
That love has continued now for more than half my life. Some would say that is insane. Not me.
Sting is simply irresistible to me. I have seen him in five cities in four states. I've seen every Police tour, every Sting solo tour.
I saw him again last night on the opening leg of his Summer 2012 tour. He's still got it.
He has several songs that would be perfect to play on "True Blood." Here is a song he did with The Police for a long-ago movie, "Brimstone and Treacle." It's a pretty sick and sad little movie but the song, "I Burn For You," is both timeless and very apropos for the fanged immortal ones.

 Pretty good, huh?
He actually penned a song inspired by Anne Rice's "Interview With the Vampire." The song, like the book and some of True Blood, is set in New Orleans.
He didn't sing "Moon Over Bourbon Street" last night, but I'm going to include it here and see what you think."

By these songs, I think Sting would make a spectacular vampire. He already is used to working nights and if you're a Sting fan like I am, you know he is adept at Tantric sex, which means he can go on for hours and hours. That sounds like a plan to me.
If I really wanted to be picky, I'd want the Sting from the 1980s. Holy cow, he was hot. He's still hot now, but back then, whew! *Fans self*

Even last night though, he's still the main man musician for me.

His hair is a bit longer on top now, but essentially he looks exactly like this, even to the shirt.
There are a few more songs that point to his secret desire to be vampire. Two I'd suggest listening to are "Mad About You," for its discreet Russell Edgington message, and "Brand New Day" because it's about starting life all over again.
I think vampire Sting would be amazing, not only because we would never stop hearing new music from the man, but then I could volunteer my services as a willing donor.

Day 25:...and the Pulitzer Prize in fiction goes to:

When Sookie Stackhouse finally has enough of snarky customers thinking all kinds of things about her at Merlotte's and wherever else her waitressing career may take her, I have an idea for her next career.

She should write fact-based fiction. People do it all the time.

Look at all the "Law and Order" franchises. At the beginning of everyone of them, there's a disclaimer explaining that each episode is fiction and even if it sounds almost exactly like a murder/abduction/robbery etc. that has been smeared all over the news, it is not.

It's the same theory used in other fictitious media: Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

Sookie could craft books about her adventures with vampires, shifters, weres, fairies, elves, demons, witches and others and if she bases her protagonist on herself, she will have a bestseller.

I'm sure some supernatural types have publishing interests and would be glad to print these books and stock them on bookshelves worldwide.

Sookie does have a way with a tale. She has been working on her vocabulary and is always trying to learn. Sounds like a writer to me.

The money would help her in so many ways. So far, the money she has earned using her telepathy and inherited, she has spent wisely, so it would be nice to see our favorite waitress not worrying about money all the time.

I would so enjoy seeing Sookie go on a manic shopping spree. I'd love to see her buy new furniture, new housewares, but most of all, seeing her indulge herself by buying an entire new wardrobe, including jewelry and especially shoes.

Can you imagine Eric and Bill when Sook came sashaying into her newly furnished living room in a flirty little silky dress, shoes that would make Pam jealous and jewelry she'd chosen herself? Her confidence would be blinding. She'd need no fairy power to stun everyone there with her own style.

At last.

It could work for her. She now owns a computer, so she needs a printer and several thumb drives that she can keep safe to protect her work, and she's in business.

You know, she could do no better than to use that great writer Charlaine Harris as a model.

Day 24: Character I'd like to see

Remember learning about sets in math?
True Blood and the Southern Vampire Mysteries share most of the same people, but each universe has characters not found in the other.
I'd like to move one character from the "Not Found in True Blood" to inclusion in both SVM and TB.
I want to meet, and get to know, Niall Brigant, Sookie's great-grandfather and a fairy prince. What if the fact she is descended from Fae royalty is what gives her both those unique powers of telepathy and white light fingers, as well as no known blood type?
Niall is described like this: "His glamour is that of an elegant, handsome older man with green eyes and long, pale hair."*
If the show has the budget and great persuasive skills, I have just the man in mind to play Niall.

Yup, David Bowie. He's long, lean, elegant and a perfect Niall. This might be something that could interest him. I'd surely love to see him on True Blood. He has enough stature both as a rock star and an actor to stand up to Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer and Alexander Skarsgard.
Can't you see the scene where Eric takes Sookie out to dinner to meet someone and introduces her to her grandfather?
And as I see it, Niall could shed some light (yes, it's a bad pun but those are the best) on how it is Sookie has her gifts and how she can better use and control them? And who knows, maybe she has a few more powers she hasn't manifested yet, ones Niall could clue her in on.
Now that I've cast Niall, what's the next step in making my dream a reality?
Any help would be appreciated.








*The Sookie Stackhouse Companion

Day 23: True Blood vs. the Southern Vampire Mysteries

An open letter to Alan Ball:
I've tried to stay quiet on this subject because I like both the series and the books, but today I'm taking sides.
Alan Ball, you are making a mess of my series.
I say my series, because I pay for HBO and that means that some of the money I fork over every month gets into your pocket.
At the beginning of the show, you stayed pretty true to the books. Changing Tara Thornton's character completely was cool, as was keeping Nelson Ellis as  Lafayette, but it wouldn't have occurred to me to have them be related. Oh, well.
The show jumped the rails when MaryAnn took over Bon Temps. What the hell were you thinking Mr. Ball?
Same sentiment with the Fae Realm. Alan created a world and made it ugly.
Sookie Stackhouse represents everything that is good and lovely in the South and Alan Ball is making it his personal mission to destroy it, first by making her saga secondary to that of any man on the show, and then by downplaying anything she does, unless it goes right back to Eric or Bill.
Last season, she spent a lot of time shouting "Run" or "Watch Out" as the vamps got into one scrape after another. She was a convenient feeding stop pretty much.
He spent a whole lot of time on two characters who do not exist in the books at all. While I liked seeing Lafayette and Jesus together, their story with the witches had little or nothing to do with Sookie and her quest to find True Love.
And, I was looking forward to meeting Hallow, not Antonia.
I have a problem with Sookie suddenly using her fairy fingers to break the spell on Eric, restoring his memories at the same time, I would have liked to see Sookie have some power over Eric for a time, like she did in the books.
So far, Season 5 doesn't look all that exciting to me. It seems there is very little Sookie and a whole lot of Tara, Lafayette, Russell Edgington, Eric, Bill, Pam and Jessica with a touch of Alcide and Sam thrown in.
I'm not saying I won't watch it, or buy the DVDs when they come out. I surely will.
With all that said, I'm glad Alan Ball is stepping down as head honcho. I hope Mark Hudis has a bit more respect for the books and can find his way back to Charlaine Harris' take on things.
I like hers a whole lot more.