Fangover Day 10: A Bill By Any Other Name...

When Bill Compton emerged from the puddle of blood a new man with new long, sharp, pointy fangs, I didn't know what to think.
I still don't.

Where is my handsome Southern gentleman caller? I loved Original Bill. He was everything you'd want in a lover -- kind, gentle, considerate and a vampire.
I loved that no matter what or who Sookie was doing, you knew Bill had her back.
Now he wants her back, perhaps as an appetizer.
I hoped all season long that Bill was playing a deep game. I thought he probably was faking being a sanguinista, infiltrating them to stop their plot to become the master race.
Now, I'm troubled. After symbolically drinking the kool-aid, he drank the kool-aid for real, with vamp-changing results.
I am curious whether Bill will be able to shower off the viscera and put on regular clothes, or if now he can only appear by special appointment and clad only in blood. Ugh.
Perhaps like a baby vamp, right now he is orienting himself to his new powers (if he has any new ones) and will become a little more Regular Bill-like as time passes.
I hope he becomes a gentle ruler of all vampires, not a vicious, bloodthirsty and bordering-on-insanity vamp.
Poor Sookie. All this time she thought she had a Vamp-in-Shining-Armor as her neighbor. Now, for all she knows, she has Vlad the Impaler.
All that said, I refuse to call him the nickname that sprang up about the same time he did.
Think I'll just call him Bill 2.0.

Fangover Day 9: Ah, Sookie

Considering the other four seasons of "True Blood," Sookie Stackhouse had a relatively quiet few days in Season 5.

It did literally start with a bang. Two bangs in fact. The first went to Tara's head as she threw herself in front of Sookie in one of most selfless acts I've ever seen.

The second was the shot that killed Debbie Pelt, one that I thought was long overdue.

I was surprised Pam showed up and not Eric or Bill, but as I said before, they were snuggled in the trunk of a car headed to Authority Central. 

Sookie and Lafayette had to do some serious begging to persuade Pam to turn Tara, and after some skillful negotiating, Pam agreed to turn Tara for a favor to be named later.

Sookie's relief at Tara's rising as a vamp was short lived as Tara took one enhanced sniff of her best friend and decided she would make a great first meal.

Pam's quick moves saved Sookie from being a snack, but our girl soon realized she would need to find a new bestie.

Lafayette stuck around for a day or two to help her cope and clean, but he was one of the next people to tell her what a dangerous friend she was to have.

Yes, our Hookah was grieving for both Jesus and his cousin, but I don't think he needed to be quite so cruel to Sookie, because she had lost a former lover, a current lover and a best friend in less than 24 hours.

I think her decision to get drunk was long overdue, and Alcide dropping by was a nice distraction and a chance for her finally to have some kind of physical relationship with someone, well, who was not a "dead boy." 

It was a real pity her stomach and Eric and Bill all contrived to ruin that idea, and fast.

I considered the hangover she must have been nursing while trying to deal with her pet vampires, and don't blame her for practically screaming at them, "It must be Thursday."

She didn't have much to do in a couple of episodes that focused mainly on the Authority, Lafayette's trip to Mexico, Jason and Jessica's relationship, Terry's wild ride and Russell and Steve's Excellent Adventure.

Her real-life pregnancy made it necessary for us to see less of her, and that allowed so many other characters to get a bit more screen time, but while we might not have seen her, she was busy in the background doing things for others.

Personally, after this season, I wish she could have a bit of rest. I realize most of the folks in Bon Temps think she had a year-long vacation while she was in Faery, but she didn't get any down time.

She has a lot of information to process right now, and probably not much time to do it.

She seemed quite surprised to see Tara and Pam kiss, but by then she was pretty shocky. Her brother has a head injury and while Sook doesn't realize he's seeing and talking to his parents, she knows he's a bit more vacant than usual.

Probably the biggest shock for our girl is what has happened to Bill. I think she always believed that Bill would love her forever, no matter what he said, but after his spectacular parlor trick of rising from a pile of goo with some pretty bitchin' fangs, she's not so sure.

Eric, who at the beginning of the season had written Sookie off, saw he might still have a chance with her and got her out of the room as fast as he could, but the new-and-perhaps-improved Bill may be faster.

It's a bit disheartening to believe that for the next nine months in True Blood time, Sookie is running.

I hope she's not too exhausted when Season 6 kicks off next year.

Fangover Day 8: Arlene and Terry and Andy, Oh My!

This year, the main focus of True Blood was vampire business to the point nearly everyone else's business focused on it too.

There were exceptions, and we're peeking in on those today.

I thought Terry and Arlene's story line this year was stupid. Why did Rene even show up at the end of last season? She paid no attention to that Halloween visit and welcomed Patrick with open arms, even when Terry clearly was not glad to see him.

Patrick's role was pretty much a place holder so Terry and Arlene, perhaps the only happily married couple in Bon Temps, could have their own story line, miss each other and take right up with their lives next season.

We all knew Terry has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but we didn't know why. Seeing Patrick brought back both those memories and his terrible mental state.

A slaughter in an Iraqi village was no big plot  surprise until one victim cursed the soldiers who shot her.

She calls up in Ifrit, an Arabian fire monster, to stalk and kill them..

I’ll give them that. The Ifrit was cool.

Terry’s road trip was a waste of plot time we’ll never get back, and the lone soldier in the Dakotas was only there to be Ifrit food.

Arlene though, had a better season. She knew something was wrong, really wrong with her husband and started asking for help – first Holly, then Lafayette.

Wasn’t the séance great?

 Patrick got a big dose of “Damn it’s real!” and Terry, who had already accepted his death, got a chance to redeem himself when Lafayette channeled the Iraqi woman.

His apology, while it didn’t fix everything right away, got Terry the forgiveness he needed, but with one caveat. He had to kill Patrick.

We all know what happened next. I’m glad Arlene had the gumption to fight for Terry and her children herself, giving Terry the courage to do what needed to be done to Patrick and get his life on track for the first time in a long time.

It’s all sunshine-and-roses between Terry and Arlene now but I’m thinking they won’t be having any more kids right now.

Surprisingly, Andy Bellefleur will be the one on Daddy Duty.

His night with Murella and the ET-like finger touch cost the sheriff dearly, though that birth scene was much needed comic relief. Like everyone else, I think if we orgasmed  while giving birth, there would be a lot more people on this planet.

I’m not clear that all four babies are girls. I’d like to think there are two boys in the mix. Whatever, Andy will have his hands full  and a whole lot of explaining to his grandmother when he brings those bundles of joy home.

We can only hope those half-fairy babies will grow up at super speed and they’ll be school age in no time. And, even if they are telepathic, I don’t think Sookie is going to start a career as a tutor.

And it can’t have been only me, but I wonder when Chris Bauer started working out, because wasn’t he a buff boy this year? Perhaps it was knowing he had to do a nude scene at last.           



                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Fangover Day 7: Lafayette and ...

When Marnie-as-Lafayette killed Jesus, I was mad.
Finally, our favorite Merlotte's cook and medium found his true love and that bitch took him away.
In "True Blood's" first episode of Season 5, I honestly thought Lafayette might not make it through.
I loved Gran's return from the grave and her taking care of Marnie, but the shell of Lafayette was so weak. Then, when his cousin is shot by that bitch Debbie Pelt, well it was almost more than a man could stand.
I was glad Pam agreed to turn Tara, because it gave Lafayette a chance to want to live. That long night, waiting to see if Tara would awaken in a new life, was a bad one for our boy.
And, when he decided to clean up and reached for that razor...
I like Lafayette's new look, and after he preached at Sookie about leaving a trail of dead bodies in her wake, I still was a bit worried.
I think everyone was scared when he started doing strange things around Merlotte's kitchen and actually tried to kill our favorite telepathic/fairy/waitress. It certainly scared him.
His haring off to Mexico to discover what was happening to him was a misstep in the season I think, but I was glad to see the poor pregnant wife take her husband out before he could do any more damage.
I like to think Jesus will visit Lafayette from time to time, because after the last visit, we got our swaggering, bodacious, gayer-than-gay Lafayette back.
It was like Springtime to see him return with his glittery makeup and outfits, that smart mouth going ninety-to-nothing and his swagger, and totaly bad-assness intact.
The season finale brought it all home.
First, he changed the tunes playing in the club to a much more jazzy blues, and I agree it was a welcome change from that redneck music we generally hear.
When he came out with Cajun Margaritas and a pithy play-by-play of Maurella's delivery of a litter of fairettes with the equally funny Arlene, you could tell he was in a better place.
Has he found some kind of inner peace at last? That being said, what will next season bring?
I have an idea.
There is a Gay-American-Vampire on the run right there in the neighborhood. He doesn't know many people in the neighborhood and most of the ones he knows are down in New Orleans with a newly-risen Bill at the Authority.
Yes, Steve Newlin would be just the thing for Lafayette.
Lafayette has a history of doing bad things with vamps. He has no problem either using or selling "V," and Steve could use a little more soul, don't you think?
I do hope they let these two fabulous men hook up. Can you see the fun they'd have and I'd give a lot of cash to see Steve's face when he got a look at all the religious icons inisde Lafayette's house.
'Nuff said. Bring it on.

Fangover Day 6: Pam and Tara: I called it: "Hell on Wheels"

During the pre-season "Fangathon," I made some predictions about what would happen during Season Five of "True Blood."
The one I was happiest about was thinking Pam and Tara would wind up together and would be "Hell on Wheels."
It took all 12 episodes to get them there, but the season finale gave us what we wanted -- a hot, steamy kiss between Tara and Pam.
Let's look back over their stormy relationship these past 12 episodes.
Pam did Sookie and Lafayette a big favor by turning Tara, and her warning of Tara turning into a "Fucktarded" vampire was not even her best line.
I will always remember her dressed in one of Sookie's sweatsuits from Wal-Mart, taking one for the team as she went to ground with her new child.
I loved how, even though she tried to keep up the tough as nails exterior, Pam was kind to Tara from the beginning, soothing her in every way she knew how except sexually. She got Tara willing donors and one bitch of a woman who was mean to Tara became her slave.
They shared "dinner" that night, but Pam made sure Tara didn't make more of it than intake of needed calories.
I enjoyed seeing Tara dressed in some seriously hot outfits. She looked the best I've ever seen her, even though she could not believe she found herself behind a bar again, this time at Fangtasia, working for her Maker.
After Eric released Pam, I think Pam cherished Tara even more, though it was hard for her to admit it. Since they didn't part on any sort of bad terms, I know Eric will be back around the bar when he can, and I look forward to the interplay between the Viking and his grandchild. Yeah, Eric's her grand-maker.
Tara, at first so angry at becoming the thing she hated most, started to enjoy her new-found powers and her growing attraction to her Maker.
What's not to love about Pam? She always looks hot (even in yellow sweats), gets all the best lines and keeps her kick-ass attitude front and center at all times.
When the new Area Five Sheriff showed up and started extorting money from Pam, Tara didn't hesitate.
She took action.
Uttering one of my season-favorite lines: "I don't know nothing about birthing no vampire babies,"  she beheaded the sheriff.
As a total aside, I totally loved the outfit Pam was wearing when she took the blame for the sheriff's death and was arrested by Rosalyn. The waist cincher was too, too cute, and Pam looked great in it, even lying in a prison cell.
When Tara and Sookie showed up in the Authority prison to free them, watching Tara go into action was wonderful.
She finally, fully inhabited her role as vampire and accepted that Sookie and Lafayette did her a favor by getting her turned rather than letting her die, though she did not let Sookie forget for one second that she owed Pam.
When Tara grabbed the silver door of Pam's jail cell and grabbed Pam, all wishes were granted.
Tara got a real kiss from her Maker, Pam realized that Tara could be "The One" and kissed her right back. Sookie's debt to Pam was retired and for a split second, all was right in the world.
Heaven knows what will happen in 9 months, when Season 6 kicks off, but I think "Hell on Wheels" is on.

Fangover Day 5: Jason's 19th Nervous Breakdown

Jason, Jason, Jason.
What a season you're had.
In the space of 12 episodes you went from the biggest slut in the parish to a man who turned down an eager college coed, a fairy and finally the girl I think you really love (even if she is a vampire).
You also lost your best friend and support system by banging his ex-girlfriend before he had gotten over her, causing a breach that broke Hoyt's spirit and trust in anyone from his home town.
Most of all though, you were trying to grow up. I was so proud when you gently disengaged from the college girl, made her put on more clothing and drove her back to her dorm.
I frankly was floored, but could see you had matured.
You  also starting falling for Jessica, considering a real monogamous relationship, not realizing Jessica still wanted a chance to play around. Forever is a long time when you measure time in millenia.
It didn't matter really, the feelings between you and Jess are real, try though you might to deny them.
The real trouble started when the Judge took you and Andy to the Fairy Bar. When you saw Hadley and learned that Hunter was there too, you were at first happy they were both alive, then shocked to learn that the Fae wanted your sister there as soon as possible, and forever. You learned about the allure of Fae blood to vampires.
The big blow, though, was learning that vampires, not a flash flood, had killed your parents. When you caused a scene at the club, you were ejected by white light, which finally clicked on the bit of Fairy in you. You started hallucinating about your parents, and it seemed so real.
That caused a major crack in the armor built of your beliefs.
Because you enjoy detective work, you grabbed Sookie and headed back to the Fairy Bar, not just for you, but for your sister to hear she was in danger from the men she loved and maybe she should spend some time relaxing at the club.
In the middle of this, a gang in Obama masks started shooting shifters. Sam Merlotte was great at tracking the group and you discovered retired sheriff Bud Dearborn and his girlfriend were behind it.
You got to the hog farm just before Bud was going to kill both Hoyt and Sookie, and though it cost Bud his life, you saved two of the most important people in your life.
You hoped that this event would help heal the breach between you and Hoyt, especially when he invited you to meet him at Merlottes.
You were surprised when you saw Jess was already there, but heartbroken when you discovered the reason he had called you there.
First, how could Hoyt just leave Bon Temps for Alaska, and worst of all, ask Jessica to glamour him so deeply he would forget his relationship not only with her, but with you too?
You could understand he wanted a new start, but how, really, could he do it without you? He's your Bubba, your running buddy, your very closest friend. You were heartbroken, and though you'd never heard the word, bereft.
Things continued to fall apart when you and Sookie discovered the clue about what was going on with the Stackhouse family under Gran's bed. Neither one of you could make head or tail of the strange document.
Back to the Fairy Bar you went. Learning your sister has been pledged to someone named Warlow 300 hears ago -- whom the Fae imply is a vampire -- ripped the walls down. You were determined to protect your sister with everything at your disposal.
You left Sookie there, sure she would be safe and cared for.
You had no idea that Russell Edgington was so much closer than you knew, and you can't help that you get glamoured with ridiculous ease. You ratted their location right out and not even the eldest Fairy there could survive a full-on onslaught of a ravenous and raving vampire.
Russell sent you flying, and you hit your head -- hard -- when you landed.
You missed Russell's inglorious end, but when you awoke, you found your parents were with you, standing right there, telling you to take care of your sister and to start killing vampires.
Since those desires dovetailed so nicely, you went right along to the Authority with Eric and his sister Nora, as well as Sookie's best friend Tara, now a vampire too.
What's a man to do? You did well. You armed yourself to the teeth with all manner of  weapons designed to kill vampires, and went to work. With your parents egging you on and seeing and smelling the blood and the muck of dead vampires, your grip on sanity finally slipped away.
You looked at the woman you love straight in the eyes and told her you could never, ever, love her. Then, you just went on, oblivious to the sound of her heart breaking.
Right now, you're in an elevator with four vampires and the voices in that damaged head are telling you that you could take them out too.
Man I hope your sister gets to you before you try.

Fangover Day 4: Adios, Hoyt

There has been only one truly normal guy in Bon Temps.
Yeah, he started out a bit of a mama's boy, but he grew up and we watched him do it.
He met a nice dead girl, fell in love for the first time and wanted to spend a really long time with his flame-haired lover.
Poor Hoyt.
His karma pretty much was "Day late, dollar short."
How was he to know his virginal little vampire Jessica was on a learning curve so steep only a fighter jet could keep up, and sadly, that fighter jet was his best friend, stud muffin Jason Stackhouse?
When Jessica and Hoyt's relationship went up in flames last season, we all were a little worried about Hoyt would do.

 

Actor Jim Parrack put in an amazing performance as the heartsick, angry and hurt  young man this season.
No one felt too bad for Jason when Hoyt pounded on him, even though Hoyt and Jessica were broken up before Jason slept with the baby vamp.
I was happy he had plenty of other friends to hang with, but it seems like his broken heart gave him both an attitude and a death wish.
I could understand his Fanger look. He thought if he lived that way, perhaps Jessica would see him with other vampires and be jealous, and if that didn't work, maybe one would kill him.
He needed rescuing, but by anyone but the hate-group nicknamed the Obamas.
They turned his grief to disgust and the easily-swayed Hoyt found himself kidnapping the girl who caused all this troubles.
It's good he is easily swayed or we'd be short one Jessica Hamby, as the Obamas  were happy to let Hoyt kill her himself.
By now, Jess has realized how deeply she hurt her first love, and pleads for her life. Hoyt has a lightning bolt of clarity and frees her, nearly getting killed in the process.
When Sheriff Andy Bellefleur and Deputy Jason Stackhouse break up the Obama gang, Hoyt is injured, but alive, and both Jessica and Jason can see what their feelings have done to the once sweet, kind Hoyt Fortenberry.
His next request was a stunner and was the catalyst for the most wrenching scenes in "True Blood" history.
When Hoyt realized Bon Temps was really too small for him, Jason and Jessica, he pulled himself together and made the necessary decisions that would allow him to move forward and have a chance at a happy life.
I will never forget the knot in the pit of my stomach when Hoyt demanded Jessica glamour him, wiping out all memories of her altogether, and memories of his friendship with Jason starting in childhood.
It was perfect. He allowed himelfs a clean break and gave was the perfect punishment to the two people who loved him the most. I don't see how Jessica and Jason can get past this and have a romantic relationship. Hoyt has put himself between them, even though he is off to Alaska to try his fortune.
The glamouring scene made me cry. I'm sure I wasn't alone. It broke my heart that such a kind, sweet man as Hoyt felt his only recourse was to pretend it never happened.
The scene where Jason uses his patrol car to pull Hoyt over on his way out of town was brilliantly poignant. Jason started in with his standard lines and Hoyt pretty much gave a psychic sucker punch to Jason when he had no real idea that he and Jason had any history.
I hope Hoyt makes some good friends in Alaska, makes some money and meets a girl who will know what a gem Hoyt is, snatch him up and make him a happy man.
I hope too he brings that woman back to Bon Temps so we can meet her.

Fangover: Day 3 Eric and Nora

Sookie decided to give her heart a rest at the end of Season 4, where she broke up with both Eric and Bill.

I honestly thought both men would be at her house about a second after Tara was shot, but they were otherwise diverted -- snuggling in the trunk of a car driven by a dark-haired woman we soon discover is Eric's long-lost sister Nora, a member of the Vampire Authority High Command. 

We discovered quickly how fast Eric got over Sookie as he had loud, loud sex with is "blood-sister" Nora. I've got the image of her smashed against the side of the trailer by Eric burned in my mind. I swear I can see it when I close my eyes, as well as hear that line, "We fight like siblings, but we fuck like champions."

Thanks so much for that.

I am not at all impressed by Nora. I found her to be a whining little tramp, hypnotized by Lilith and Salome and determined to get her sib on the same side.

As the season progressed, we saw both Nora and Eric escape the true death, and by the end of this season, she is the only original Authority member still standing.

Eric and Bill were made members after they brought in Russell Edgington, but then he became a member at Roman's death. 

Sigh.

I am so happy Eric was able to fight the "Lilith" virus successfully, and to convince Nora that their father Godric was right, Lilith was a fraud, and she had been wrong too.

Eric, and his alter-ego Alexander Skarsgard, have had a great season. In one of the greatest scenes in this series' history, Eric's release of Pam's bond was award-worthy. I cried for both of them. The quick, sunny smile he gave Pam when he saw her in the final episode was beatifically beaming, even covered with blood. He may have released her, but those two will always stay together because they truly love and respect the other.  

I was so happy to see the tenderness in Eric as he held Sookie when Bill had puddled out. He was in total defense mode when Bill was reborn, and his first thought was to tell Sookie what she hears way too much: "Run!"

Now, with Bill turned into some super-vampire, we are left to wonder what he'll do next.

I think Eric will grab Sookie and get her the hell out of there, and since we all know Nora knows who (and what) Warlow is, Jason will probably let her live, at least for a while.

I really hope Nora heeds Eric's warnings about not snacking on our favorite fairy, but I think it would be funny if she developed a little girl-crush on Sook because she smells so damn good.

I'm guessing Nora will stay with Eric in Shreveport and she'll help run the bar for awhile, since I'm guessing Pam and Tara will be busy enriching their maker/child bond in various ways.

In the end, I'm hoping Nora will go back and take over the nightly duties of running the Authority and dealing with Bill, in whatever form he lands in.

Perhaps Eric and Nora will celebrate whatever holidays vampires celebrate together, but go their separate ways, leaving Eric to brighten our lives every summer with his escapades in Louisiana, and that he also keeps close to Sookie. They're a much more fun combination.

Fangover: Day 2: Jessica the broken-hearted

My all-time favorite baby-vamp has had a bad couple of years.
I loved how this uber-Christian girl embraced her inner vampire with gusto, flummoxing her maker Bill, as well as Eric and Pam with her teenage angst.
When Bill finally becomes a father figure different from her intolerant human father, she settles happily into immortal life.
I truly enjoyed watching Jessica and Hoyt find first love together, even though she discovered sex was going to hurt eternally if she kept regenerating one particular part. Hoyt didn't care. He simply loved his flame-haired little vixen.
Other than how Jessica solved the hymen-problem, I have no problem with her growing in to a sexual vampire. I was dismayed, but not surprised that she fell for Jason. Seriously, every girl in Bon Temps that isn't related to him has fallen for Jason one way or another.
Last season, my heart ached for Jessica when both Hoyt and Jason threw her out of their lives in the same episode, if not night. She had tasted forbidden fruit, loved it, and "Whammo!" both guys ditch her, thinking they're doing the right thing.
The problem there was: Jason could handle it.  Hoyt could not. But enough about him for now. We'll deal with him in a later post.

I thought Jessica looked especially toothsome in her Halloween costume. Little Red Riding Hood suited her perfectly, and Jason was happy to succumb to her charms.
Things looked pretty rosy for Jessica and Jason until he got an attack of maturity and at the same time the shit kicked out of him by Hoyt.
Jason tried to man up, but losing his friends wasn't as easy as he hoped.
Add to that, Jessica decided to try out the local college scene, where she was readily accepted. I mean really, wouldn't you hang with a girl whose guardian is mysteriously absent, who can provide endless booze, has rocking parties and that vampire charm to boot?
Jason was at an impasse. He loved Jessica, but she was ready to start sowing the very wild  oats Jason had just finished. What is a deputy sheriff to do?
While his first experience with the Fae left him dreaming about his long dead parents, the massive head injury inflicted by Russell Edgington  had them hanging out with him and Sookie, hearing them  trash vampire after vampire.
I think at this time he is damaged, and all he can think of is protecting his only living family, Sookie, from all the "dead boys" she likes.
When Jessica, finally free, runs up to Jason, throws her arms around him proclaiming her love for him at last, she did not expect him to stare at her like she was something diseased and tell her he could never, ever, love a vampire.
You could hear her heart crack into pieces as the news soaked in.
I think right now she is either in complete shock or taking it in stride, because she has to smell his blood and know he has a bad head wound.
We'll have to wait until next June to discover if the damage is permanent or if he can learn to love our ginger-haired girl again.

Fangover: Day 1: Goodbye Russell

He was fun while he lasted.
Russell Edgington, the 3000-year-old blood-drinker who met Jesus and was not impressed, met death by Eric with a belly full of Fae.
His final words? The less than memorable, "Oh, fuck."

It's a whole lot different than his defiant appearance on a national news show, where he ripped an anchorman's heart out, said he'd eat everyone's children, then calmly asked Tiffany about the weather.
He was fun to hate. He had such a gleeful way of doing the most horrific things and making us secretly wish we could have that much fun doing anything.
Irish actor Denis O'Hare infused the King of Mississippi with such panache. The first time I recall seeing him he was wearing a red riding jacket, atop a beautiful white horse. As he leaned down from the saddle, he invited a befuddled Bill Compton to have a ride back to his place.
We learned his terrible connection to Eric Northman and saw how Russell indulged the love of his life, the drop-undead gorgeous Talbot. When Eric (Who can ever forget that baby blue V-neck sweater?) first took revenge on Russell, it was to kill Talbot, who mis-"Staken"-ly thought he was in for a night of pleasure with our favorite Viking vamp.
I loved watching Russell drag that crystal jug of ex-Talbot around Bon Temps, and delighted right along with Sookie as she dumped the goo into Fangtasia's garbage disposal, turning it on while watching Russell scream.
I did enjoy the season without him, but what fun it was when he escaped his cement grave via Salome and returned to form to take his place on the Authority board.
Maybe it was his advanced age or having delved into orgies before, the Lilith-fueled bloodbaths didn't seem to affect him as much as Salome, Bill, Steve, Nora or the rest of the Authority. While he delighted in drinking as much human blood as he could stand, he thirsted for the headier stuff--Fairy blood--and its light-walking ability.
His one foray into the sun wasn't enough for the guy I believe to have been the oldest vampire around.
Stalking Sookie, he used her dimmer brother Jason to discover her hideout.
His final meal was probably a Fae woman as old as he was and the glory of her blood made him vulnerable for one of the few times of his long, long life.
It cost him dearly.
He was staked and dying before he could realize what had happened. I don't think  he realized he was meeting the true death until he looked down and saw a stake sticking out of his chest. Being held up by Eric, who was enjoying every last minute of Russell's life, all the vamp could do was utter those final, sad words.

Day 30: Hello, Season 5

Thirty days ago I couldn't imagine writing my last post of this Fang-a-thon.
It's bittersweet.
That said, this post is going to either prove I have a preternatural power of observation or I'm a complete loony, because I'm going to speculate about how Season 5 will go.
First, I read the downloaded script pages and I laughed and laughed. Since this is a spoilerish-topic, I won't say what I saw, but I will say this.
Russell Edgington will fall head-over-fangs in love with Steve Newlin. It's perfect. Steve is as shallow and as well dressed as Talbot ever was and Russell will love showing the former head of Fellowship of the Sun the vampire ropes and cavorting with him behind the closed bedroom door.
It appears Hoyt is either going to be a fangbanger or turn into a complete vamp-hater. He may be both. It make take him all season to transition from one to the other, but Jessica broke his heart and her feelings for Jason broke his spirit. He's a different sort of "Lost Boy" and I hope he can find a way back to the sweet guy he was.
I believe Eric will be the man to turn Tara. He will turn her over to Pam to teach her, and those two are going to recognize kindred spirits and they are going to be hell on wheels this season.
They will be the female version of Russell and Steve. Pam will love having another woman around, especially another bi- woman, and Tara will enjoy exacting revenge on all the men and women who screwed her over in her life.
Bill and Eric are obviously going to become great friends at last. I think they'll both show up at Sookie's house in the first 60 seconds of "Turn, Turn, Turn," and while Sookie will be glad of their company, she won't want much to do with them.
Jessica is going to get to Jason in the nick of time, chasing Steve straight into Russell's arms. This season I think the deadly redhead and her boy toy will explore the depths of their attraction to each other.
I also wonder if one day Jason will open his front door and be confronted by half of the women from Hot Shot and their babies. Payback's a bitch, kids.
Also, while Andy Bellefleur is courting Halleigh the waitress, he will be confronted at some point by either a pregnant fairy or one with a baby who looks remarkably like him. Andy's going to have some 'splaining to do, and he'd going to have to think fast.
I think Alcide will make a play for Sookie this season and will be the main man protecting her from Russell's thirst for more of her intoxicating blood. I don't know how far they will go, because Alcide also has a lot of pack business to deal with, and he will wind up Packmaster.
Debbie Pelt's parents will come looking for their daughter and Sookie's conscience will bother her, but not so much that she will confess she knows literally where the body is buried.
Sam, who will at first be blamed for Marcus' death, will be saved by Alcide, but how will Luna explain to Emma that her dad is dead and Sam was there when it happened? They'll have a tough time this season.
Lafayette will be in mourning for Jesus and Tara and even if his boyfriend's spirit drops by to keep him company, right now he blames Sookie for at least half his problems. He will have to come to terms with his magical powers before he can be of any use to anyone else.
Arlene's marriage to Terry may be in jeopardy since Patrick has come back. Terry and Patrick are not going to be doing anything good, but it should be interesting.
Last of all, the Authority and Nora will at first hunt Eric and Bill, then assign them to take care of Russell Edgington before he can kill too many more humans. It will be intriguing to see Eric and Pam's backstory, as well as see how Eric and his "sister" Nora interact. From the trailers, it seems Nora can give Sookie a run for her money where Eric is concerned.
Sookie is going to have a rough year I think. Bill and Eric will be MIA from Bon Temps, Russell is surely coming for her and bringing Steve along for the fun of it, Alcide will be doing his best to protect her but pack business will interfere, Jason will be his scatterbrained self and will forget his sister might need him, so she's going to have to depend on herself to keep safe and sound.
And, one more thing, as the season goes along, we'll be less and less of Sookie, and I mean that since she's expecting in real life, camera angles will be higher and higher and I've heard she'll be carrying a big purse in front of her in any long shot.
I'm ready. Bring it on.

Postscript: I already know I'm wrong about one big thing. I watch the spoilers and I should have gone with my gut with Tara. Oh well.

Day 29: Oughta Be An Otter

I love otters.
They're lovely, graceful creatures who live in and around water. They like to hang out in groups and they seem to have a real sense of humor and love to have fun on a regular basis.

Personally, there's nowhere I'd rather be than in, or near the water. I like water parks because they combine water and playing in a delightful way.
That being said. If I were a shifter, I'd want to change into an otter at every opportunity.
It's a too bad really, because I realize this means I'd need to stay away from the Bon Temps/Shreveport area because of the werewolves and werepanthers who hunt in the area. Also, I'd have to really pay attention to all the pesky alligators who live around the area.
It's also a shame because I'd like to invite one bar/restaurant owner in Bon Temps to come shift with me one full moon. Or, maybe two. Or three.

You get the idea.
However, if there were someone in Bon Temps who needed a roommate, say a telepathic waitress who lived alone in a big, rambling house in the country, I could stick close to the house, maybe invest in an above ground pool for us and that's where I'd play when there was hunting in the area during full moons.
It would be a win/win situation. I could help with bills as well as buying the pool, and I could entertain Bill and Eric while Sookie was getting ready to go out with one or the other.
I could even bring home the occasional fish for supper.

Then, a few times a year, I could fly out to spend time with the otter shifter communities scattered throughout the U.S. and spend time with them as well.
I believe it's a workable plan, but I do have one question.
How much rent do you think Sookie will charge me?

Day 28: Hooligans

In Charlaine Harris' books, Claude Crane owns a strip club called "Hooligans."
While it appears to be a run-on-the-mill club featuring both female and male strippers, the majority of them are supernatural beings of one type or another.
In the later books, it is a haven for elves, goblins, fairies and other non-human folk who need a place to be themselves, albeit in disguise.
"Deadlocked" opens with a girl's night out at the club and we are treated to descriptions of various men, their costumes and the ruckus they cause.
I'd like to propose a post-Fangathon night out at Hooligans for all of us who have tried to stave off fangovers by writing every night.
Let's say, next Tuesday night we all meet at Hooligans for a night of fun and frivolity and since it's just us, maybe we can convince our favorite characters to take it all off for us.
I feel strongly that Sookie will sit at the table with us, but for the rest, it's fair game.
Here's what I'd like to see.
Eric Northman: I'd love to see him come out covered in furs that he can drop with tantalizing slowness to "Lady Marmalade." I'm bring $20 one-dollar bills all for him.
I can see now I'm going to be broke by the end of the evening.
King Bill Compton: I think he can afford to have one of his suits altered with velcro and come out dressed to the nines. He can strip to ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man" and I'm probably going to spend $20 on him too.
Pam Ravenscroft: She should come out in some teasingly little red leather outfit, complete with whip. Devo's "Whip It" comes to mind, and though I don't play for that team, I'd spend $5 or so. The men will pay considerably more.
Lafayette Reynold: He'll come out dressed out in complete chef's regalia and shake his moneymaker to the Kink's "Lola." Another five bucks here.
After seeing the MTV movie awards, Alcide Herveaux must come out dressed as a fireman. Holy cow he looked good. His song? "Hungry Like the Wolf" of course. He'll get about $15 from me.
Tara Thornton: She'll be taking off an animal print ensemble of course to the suggestive moaning of Lou Reed's "Take a Walk on the Wild Side." She gets five ones from me.
Sam Merlotte: He can make a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt look so good, he gets to dress in full Western gear from hat to boots and of course will strip to "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" and he'll get 15 bucks from me.
Jessica Hamby: I loved her Little Red Riding Hood outfit so she can wear that and disrobe to Elvis' tune "Devil in Disguise." $5 from me.
Hoyt Fortenberry, Jason Stackhouse and J.B. du Rhone: They may not be supernatural, but they are spectacularly handsome, so they will be in the big finale. Hoyt will wear construction gear, Jason a police officer's uniform and J.B. a military uniform. Because of their outfits, we bring out the Village People's "Macho Man" for them. That'll be $5 each.
Whoa. That's $105 before drinks. They'd better be really good.

Day 27: A Whole New Dimension

Most of the characters in True Blood can become a bad-ass if the situation is right.
Every single character will fight viciously when threatened, but there exists one group who can kick anyone else into the middle of next week. The Britlingen Collective.
In the books, Sookie met them during the the Vampire Summit in Rhodes when she sees two strangely-dressed women. They are wearing black clothing resembling body armor and their demeanor is all business.
Sookie discovers that not only are these woman not human, they're not from any place around here.
People  who use the collective need bodyguards whose sole aim is to do whatever it is their boss of the moment needs, no questions asked. The Britlingens clients pay handsomely because the soldiers don't stop until the job is completed.
Their sole rule?
"What is the law?'
"The client's word."
They must be summoned by a witch from their dimension and when they arrive, it's up to the witch to negotiate their contract with their guild and then send them home when their contract is up. They do not leave until it is completed to the letter.
Needless to say, they are extremely well paid.
I'd love to meet one of these women. In my mind they're dressed a good deal like Kate Beckinsale in the "Underworld" movies.

They are lethal weapons whose mercenary ways make them impossible to corrupt.
Personally, I think Bill and Eric would each pay half and hire one to protect Sookie. Think how many hospital visits Sookie would miss by having someone there who could fight any supernatual person and kill them without mercy or regret.
On second thought, Sookie would hate having someone protecting her all the time. She does love to take care of herself, but maybe the idea of having one she could call on when she needed one would make her accept having one around.
They would make an interesting addition to the show, and their basic existence would give the show an extra layer, to the point we could see their homeland, much like we got to take a look at Fae.

Day 26: Who I'd Turn and Why

I have loved Sting since I first heard the Police's first album.
That love has continued now for more than half my life. Some would say that is insane. Not me.
Sting is simply irresistible to me. I have seen him in five cities in four states. I've seen every Police tour, every Sting solo tour.
I saw him again last night on the opening leg of his Summer 2012 tour. He's still got it.
He has several songs that would be perfect to play on "True Blood." Here is a song he did with The Police for a long-ago movie, "Brimstone and Treacle." It's a pretty sick and sad little movie but the song, "I Burn For You," is both timeless and very apropos for the fanged immortal ones.

 Pretty good, huh?
He actually penned a song inspired by Anne Rice's "Interview With the Vampire." The song, like the book and some of True Blood, is set in New Orleans.
He didn't sing "Moon Over Bourbon Street" last night, but I'm going to include it here and see what you think."

By these songs, I think Sting would make a spectacular vampire. He already is used to working nights and if you're a Sting fan like I am, you know he is adept at Tantric sex, which means he can go on for hours and hours. That sounds like a plan to me.
If I really wanted to be picky, I'd want the Sting from the 1980s. Holy cow, he was hot. He's still hot now, but back then, whew! *Fans self*

Even last night though, he's still the main man musician for me.

His hair is a bit longer on top now, but essentially he looks exactly like this, even to the shirt.
There are a few more songs that point to his secret desire to be vampire. Two I'd suggest listening to are "Mad About You," for its discreet Russell Edgington message, and "Brand New Day" because it's about starting life all over again.
I think vampire Sting would be amazing, not only because we would never stop hearing new music from the man, but then I could volunteer my services as a willing donor.

Day 25:...and the Pulitzer Prize in fiction goes to:

When Sookie Stackhouse finally has enough of snarky customers thinking all kinds of things about her at Merlotte's and wherever else her waitressing career may take her, I have an idea for her next career.

She should write fact-based fiction. People do it all the time.

Look at all the "Law and Order" franchises. At the beginning of everyone of them, there's a disclaimer explaining that each episode is fiction and even if it sounds almost exactly like a murder/abduction/robbery etc. that has been smeared all over the news, it is not.

It's the same theory used in other fictitious media: Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

Sookie could craft books about her adventures with vampires, shifters, weres, fairies, elves, demons, witches and others and if she bases her protagonist on herself, she will have a bestseller.

I'm sure some supernatural types have publishing interests and would be glad to print these books and stock them on bookshelves worldwide.

Sookie does have a way with a tale. She has been working on her vocabulary and is always trying to learn. Sounds like a writer to me.

The money would help her in so many ways. So far, the money she has earned using her telepathy and inherited, she has spent wisely, so it would be nice to see our favorite waitress not worrying about money all the time.

I would so enjoy seeing Sookie go on a manic shopping spree. I'd love to see her buy new furniture, new housewares, but most of all, seeing her indulge herself by buying an entire new wardrobe, including jewelry and especially shoes.

Can you imagine Eric and Bill when Sook came sashaying into her newly furnished living room in a flirty little silky dress, shoes that would make Pam jealous and jewelry she'd chosen herself? Her confidence would be blinding. She'd need no fairy power to stun everyone there with her own style.

At last.

It could work for her. She now owns a computer, so she needs a printer and several thumb drives that she can keep safe to protect her work, and she's in business.

You know, she could do no better than to use that great writer Charlaine Harris as a model.

Day 24: Character I'd like to see

Remember learning about sets in math?
True Blood and the Southern Vampire Mysteries share most of the same people, but each universe has characters not found in the other.
I'd like to move one character from the "Not Found in True Blood" to inclusion in both SVM and TB.
I want to meet, and get to know, Niall Brigant, Sookie's great-grandfather and a fairy prince. What if the fact she is descended from Fae royalty is what gives her both those unique powers of telepathy and white light fingers, as well as no known blood type?
Niall is described like this: "His glamour is that of an elegant, handsome older man with green eyes and long, pale hair."*
If the show has the budget and great persuasive skills, I have just the man in mind to play Niall.

Yup, David Bowie. He's long, lean, elegant and a perfect Niall. This might be something that could interest him. I'd surely love to see him on True Blood. He has enough stature both as a rock star and an actor to stand up to Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer and Alexander Skarsgard.
Can't you see the scene where Eric takes Sookie out to dinner to meet someone and introduces her to her grandfather?
And as I see it, Niall could shed some light (yes, it's a bad pun but those are the best) on how it is Sookie has her gifts and how she can better use and control them? And who knows, maybe she has a few more powers she hasn't manifested yet, ones Niall could clue her in on.
Now that I've cast Niall, what's the next step in making my dream a reality?
Any help would be appreciated.








*The Sookie Stackhouse Companion

Day 23: True Blood vs. the Southern Vampire Mysteries

An open letter to Alan Ball:
I've tried to stay quiet on this subject because I like both the series and the books, but today I'm taking sides.
Alan Ball, you are making a mess of my series.
I say my series, because I pay for HBO and that means that some of the money I fork over every month gets into your pocket.
At the beginning of the show, you stayed pretty true to the books. Changing Tara Thornton's character completely was cool, as was keeping Nelson Ellis as  Lafayette, but it wouldn't have occurred to me to have them be related. Oh, well.
The show jumped the rails when MaryAnn took over Bon Temps. What the hell were you thinking Mr. Ball?
Same sentiment with the Fae Realm. Alan created a world and made it ugly.
Sookie Stackhouse represents everything that is good and lovely in the South and Alan Ball is making it his personal mission to destroy it, first by making her saga secondary to that of any man on the show, and then by downplaying anything she does, unless it goes right back to Eric or Bill.
Last season, she spent a lot of time shouting "Run" or "Watch Out" as the vamps got into one scrape after another. She was a convenient feeding stop pretty much.
He spent a whole lot of time on two characters who do not exist in the books at all. While I liked seeing Lafayette and Jesus together, their story with the witches had little or nothing to do with Sookie and her quest to find True Love.
And, I was looking forward to meeting Hallow, not Antonia.
I have a problem with Sookie suddenly using her fairy fingers to break the spell on Eric, restoring his memories at the same time, I would have liked to see Sookie have some power over Eric for a time, like she did in the books.
So far, Season 5 doesn't look all that exciting to me. It seems there is very little Sookie and a whole lot of Tara, Lafayette, Russell Edgington, Eric, Bill, Pam and Jessica with a touch of Alcide and Sam thrown in.
I'm not saying I won't watch it, or buy the DVDs when they come out. I surely will.
With all that said, I'm glad Alan Ball is stepping down as head honcho. I hope Mark Hudis has a bit more respect for the books and can find his way back to Charlaine Harris' take on things.
I like hers a whole lot more.

Day 22: Where did the SVM/TB vamps come from?

Here's a poser.
What is the mythology of vampires in the Charlaine Harris/Alan Ball universes?
There are several back stories of how vampires came to be in literature and movies that I know, but most authors now make up their own origins for their bloodsucking men and women.
The Fellowship of the Sun I believe go with the Judas myth.
After Judas betrayed Jesus, he hung himself, flinging the 30 pieces of silver on the ground around his hanging corpse. He was not, however, allowed to die, but was forced to walk the earth, sustaining his life by living on the blood of others. His weakness to silver was caused by the "blood money" he was paid to betray Christ. The one thing missing is the fear of the cross.
Still, Harris makes clear that is just what the FOS believes, not how they really came about.
Now, in some stories, a vampire can only be killed by the same kind of tree that Judas used to hang himself.
Anne Rice went even further back to create her vampires. She used Egyptian deities Akasha and Enkil. Now, from what I remember, Enkil was cut into pieces and when he was reassembled, his penis was not found, which is why no male vampire from the Rice universe can have sex.
Now that's a big trade off: you can live forever, but you can never have sex again. Can you see Bill or Eric agreeing to that?
I now must admit I've never read any of the "Twilight" books (I have seen the movies) so I have no idea where those vampires come from either, or why they sparkle in the light.
I only know that "Vampire Diaries" vamps can walk in the sun if they own one of those rings.
As for Vlad the Impaler, aka Count Dracula, take your pick. I go with the story that he drank so much of the blood of those he killed it turned him in some fundamental way, making him both immortal and a creature of the night, hating crosses, garlic and stakes of wood and robbing him of his reflection in mirrors.
As for True Blood and the Southern Vampire Mysteries, I have no idea.
But, since those universes contain all kinds of other supernatural beings as well as us lesser mortals, they can come up with any story they like and it will be just fine.

Day 21: True Blood's kiss

Everybody here likes vampires: that's apparent.
They are sexy creatures, exuding dark sexuality, hinting at secrets of the universe, promising pleasure as they sink their fangs into any number of veins of their human, uh, willing partner (most of the time anyway).
That's the one downside. That pesky bite.
A vampire can make it pleasurable if they choose. Even the un-glamorable Sookie Stackhouse can enjoy it if it's done the right way.
She has experienced it the other way as well, and like everyone else, she prefers to enjoy it.
Before Bill and Eric used a bit of their own precious blood to instantly heal the wounds their bites left, Sookie had to wear bandannas around her neck to hide the holes.
You know the vamps had to know this trick for about as long there have been vampires, so why did it take Bill so long to do this small courtesy for Sookie?
Evidently Eric does it for her all the time, because I've never seen fang marks on her after one of their trysts.
Anyway, as someone who has had more than her fair share of needle sticks, I think a pair of fangs piercing skin would be extremely painful, at least at first.
What do vampires do to make it sound like a good idea? If it's not glamoring, what is it? Do that exude pheromones that make humans turn into willing victims of seduction by bloodshed? Do they whisper some magic words (Oh Sookeh, let meh bite yew? comes to mind in Bill's case. Maybe it varies by vampire. Eric's might be in Swedish.)? Is it part of the sexual thrall they throw off like an aura?
Seriously, I wonder.
It's got to be something that keeps you from screaming in pain, that relaxes you into the embrace of the owner of the fangs, that will keep you calm and happy while they drain you to the point of death.
Maybe they can release some sort of local anesthetic from their fangs at will, something so fast acting that it works from the time they extend their fangs to the moment they connect with your skin.
They should synthesize that and sell it to pharmaceutical companies. That is one hell of a local painkiller.
But, considering all things, I'd rather get it from a vampire, but only if I get to pick who does the biting.
Because Eric can sometimes be excitable, I think for a first bite, I'll try Bill.
Order up.

Day 20: Sookie knows what EVERYONE likes

I have an account at blip.fm and I play all my favorite songs there all time time. Generally I listen to it while I'm writing the posts for Fangathon 2012, and last night an old song came on and I started laughing, because it should be Sookie Stackhouse's theme song.

   

This is the 1980s hit "I Know What Boys Like" by The Waitresses. That was my first clue. 

Since she was a toddler, Sookie's telepathy has let her know what everyone thinks all the time, including what they think when she would tell them what she thought about what was on their mind.

So, believe me, she knows what boys--and that is boys of all ages--as well as girls, want, and she knows it all the time.

I am happy she has learned to shield her mind a lot of the time, but the background chatter has got to be annoying.

Anyway, this song details the tricks this girl uses to tease boys into submission. 

Without guile, Sookie did this to both Bill and Eric. I'm sure her fairy blood helped, but some of the song lyrics are so funny. 

"They get so angry, like pouty children, denied their candy, I laugh right at them."

You know, at some point, she's going to get enough confidence in herself to do that very thing to some guy in her life, undead or not.

However, the part of the song that made me laugh out loud is the second bridge.

The singer starts talking to some guy, assuring him in every way possible that he can do anything he wants to her. Really, he can. He can trust her, she wouldn't lie to him. Seriously. Come on.

"SUCKER."

And she performs a deep, throaty giggle.

When Bill uses Sookie's name in his baritone Southern drawl, we've heard Sookie imitate it. 

"SOOKAH."

It's awfully close, and it's hilarious.

Sookie easily is my favorite character on the series and, hey, she is the star of the books, so I'm hoping as she grows on the series, my favorite Merlotte's waitress will take a page from The Waitresses songbook and give men as good as she gets.

Day 19: Vampire I'd like to see on True Blood

There is one Anne Rice vampire, who, in her book held little interest for me, but when I saw him in the "Interview With the Vampire" movie, I was spellbound.

It was the first time I saw Antonio Banderas. I was thunderstruck. He was amazing. Long, flowing black hair, a delicious accent and his total toothiness, his sexiness oozed off the screen and into my bloodstream, never to leave.
Yes, Bill and Eric are mighty fine, but good heavens, if Armand the vampire came to me, he could have his wicked way with me all night, every night.
Jace Everett can sing "Bad Things" about True Blood vamps, but for me, Armand gets the equally sexy "Wicked Games" by Chris Isaac.

That song is every bit as tortured as "Bad Things" and Chris' voice is equal to Jace's. Easily.
Now, say Armand shows up as part of the Authority. I could so deal with that. I could be his and leave both Eric and Bill in the dust. No problem. Look at the guy. He's as old as Eric but for me, he has the tall, dark and handsome thing going.
And, he'd be a vampire to be reckoned with. He could easily take care of that pesky varmint Russell Edgington and be done with  it, take over that nice house in Mississippi and I could movie right in with him.
Then, I'd invite Miss Stackhouse over for tea and we could compare notes. After all, my mother was a Fairy, so I'm no slouch in that category myself.
That's my story for today, and I'm sticking to it.

Day 18: I Wanna Do Bad Things With You

Every time I hear Jace Everett breathe those opening words, "When you came in the air went out," my heart starts to race and my mind runs towards all the possibilities of what I'll be seeing for the next hour or so.
"I wanna do bad things with you."
Oh yeah, baby.
I'd love to know who first thought of this cut for the opening credits of "True Blood." It's simply brilliant. While the fast-cuts and bizarre images flash by, I love that baritone voice implying all kinds of nasty treats in store for me.
Think of what we've seen so far.
Bill seducing an innocent Sookie. He's the first man who has seriously paid attention to her where she had no idea of what would happen next. When she said, "Yes" to him, she gave herself to him utterly, body and blood.
Eric, seeing Bill has someone strangely and utterly beguiling on his arm when Sookie makes her first visit to "Fangtasia," becomes another willing victim to Sookie's fey charm. He begins plotting to get Sookie at that second.
Eric gets some blood into Sookie in a devious way, using guilt as a weapon after he saves her life in the explosion at Godric's house.
Yes, Eric, that's a "Bad Thing."
 My all-time favorite "True Blood" scene is Sookie's erotic dream featuring Eric. After some wonderful pillow talk, my to-this-day favorite line of the series comes.
"I am a darling."
Oh Miss Stackhouse, you surely are.
Her wiles go farther than vampires, as we all know.
 Sam was sweet on her for years.
 Alcide would have succumbed but their timing has always been off. Still, they show a lot of his wereskin, and oh my, what dirty little thoughts float through my head.

 The Season 4 scene with naked Eric and Alcide nearly hyperventilated me.
Now, that's truly bad, and I loved every second of it.
Didn't you?
"I don't know who you think you are but before this night is through I wanna do bad things with you.
I wanna do real bad things with you."

Yum, Season 5 here I come.

Day 17: Breed all about it: SVM

I had such a great time writing about the series vampires as dog breeds, I thought I'd add one more, this time from the book.

It's simply this, Bubba is a Houng Dog. You know he is, he sang about it. 

Enjoy:

I love you Bubba. Always have, always will. Vamp or not, you taught us how to rock.

Day 16: Breed all about it: Letting sleeping dogs lie

I can't say how this idea came to me, but here it is.
There is no doubt that Terry Bellefleur loves his catahoula dogs, that for some reason Sam Merlotte loves becoming Dean the collie, and I personally love my dogs Caro and Woody.
Thinking about what to write today I came up with this.
If the vampires of "True Blood" were dogs, what breeds would they be?
Right away, with no thought whatsoever, I decided Eric would be a greyhound. These dogs are long, lean, elegant, seem to fly and know how absolutely, stunningly beautiful they are.
That describes Eric to a T. Also, greyhounds love to lie around and be admired. They love attention, will cheerfully wear clothes, shoes, hats, whatever will keep them comfortable in the great outdoors, and expect respect. Generally, they get it because they are the second fastest animal on the planet. This breed has been around for thousands of years and live to hunt down lesser beings, which is in their minds is everything else.
Bill Compton is a chow chow. They are a one person dog, and when their find their person, they are loyal only to them. Sookie Stackhouse is Bill's person. He is ever loyal to her, even if he does go out playing games with other dogs frequently. When he wants comfort, when he needs to protect something, it's Sookie or no one.
Pam is a poodle. I'm not talking about the ill-bred yappy kind, I'm talking the purebred, standard variety. They are regal, they too know they are beautiful, but they can be really bitchy when their nerves get jangled or things don't go their way. Poodles know when they look good and Pam doesn't leave her nest without every hair in place, perfect outfit, perfect shoes. She loves nipping at any lesser breed, which for her is everyone but her greyhound, Eric.
Russell Edgington is the Rottweiler. He is a big brute, cunning, intelligent, stubborn and powerful. Only a rottie could pull the spine out of a news anchor, then nonchalantly ask Tiffany about the weather forecast. His only loyalty was to his lovely cocker spaniel mate Talbot, and after that guy's true death, he is on the warpath with Eric and Bill in his sights.
Queen Sophie-Ann was a shih tzu. Can't you see her in her "sun room" in New Orleans, bow in her hair, curled up on her chaise, playing games all night with her coterie of fellow lapdogs? Eric and Bill stop by and pay grudging homage to her, but when they leave, they stopped to pee on everything, you know they did.

Day 15: My favorite promo

I love this promo. It has everything going for it, a woman who loves her fangstastic man, a man who loves his wife so much he will wear a cheap pair of vampire fangs for her, and a couple who love to role play.
The woman steals the show, though, because she gives great stage direction. I mean, I knew what she wanted. Didn't you?

Day 14: Lonely hearts

Here's a thought : have you ever stopped to consider how lonely Sookie Stackhouse must be?
She has lived her whole life listening to other people live their daily lives. When she intimates by thought, word or deed that she knows more than she should about someone, most of the time she is shunned.
School was a nightmare for her. Dating was worse.
No matter your sex, imagine how truly awful it would be to hear ever all the things flitting through your date's head, from the ridiculous (do I smell funny?) to the downright nasty (I'll bet he's/she's hotter than hell naked). How would Sookie feel, since she has no way of knowing that all these thoughts are totally normal, natural and acceptable. Because a person thinks these things does not mean this person expects any of that to happen right now.
She is friends with Tara because she promised to stop reading her thoughts. Same with Jason.
Was the reason she fell so hard for Bill that she could not know what he was thinking? There is every reason to believe he was having the same kind of flitting thoughts through his head the entire time he was with Sookie, she simply couldn't read them.
It was restful for her certainly, but really, not diametrically different from going out with a human. He had his way with her, but since she didn't know what was coming, that made it different for her.
Still, he betrayed her.
Eric does the same thing.
How does Sookie deal with daily life? She has a well-rehearsed smile she plasters on her face when things get to be too much -- both at work and any where else.
She realizes most of the town refers to her as "Crazy Sookie." That has got to hurt. She can't trust most people because she can read every thought that flashes through their head from the moment she asks them something to the time they answer her questions.
I admire the fact she is always trying to better herself. From her "Word a Day" calendar to watching the game show "Jeopardy" when she can, she wants to educate herself.
One of the saddest moments on the series was when she and Bill were imagining  themselves in a normal life and relationship.
She wanted to be a real estate agent, a job that requires extensive public interaction, savvy negotiation skills and a great wardrobe.
That is something she could do anyway. It doesn't have to be a fantasy. Actually, her telepathy would come in handy in matching the right buyer with the right house, but the years of being hurt by everyone has convinced her she can't do it.
At this point both in the books and the series, she is on her own. In the books, she has broken the blood bond, saved the one man who has believed in her and is getting ready to start a new life.
On the series, the blood bond still exists, but she has lost her best friend and has dumped both Bill and Eric. She could start new there too, but that will never happen, because Alan Ball doesn't care about Sookie, but about the vampires. She is a necessary evil. She has to be around to attract the vampires and keep them safe during the day.
Still, in both universes, she is lonely.

Day 13: How I'd End the Final Book, Part 2

~~~
"Hello, Eric," she said as she opened the door and stood aside so the tall, blonde vampire could glide in.
"Hello, wife," he said, reminding her of the vampire ceremony she had unwittingly participated in at Fangtasia.
"You sure about that?" she asked. "I'm going to find out what it takes to get a divorce, just so you know. I'm giving you the information you did not give me. I broke our blood bond and now I'm undoing this, so you can just take yourself to Oklahoma and marry Freyda.
"How dare you think I'd use the last fairy magic I had to get you out of a situation you can take care of yourself?"
As she kept going, she felt herself losing her temper.
"I cannot believe you thought enough of yourself, and so little of me, to think I would take all the heat for you not marrying a woman when your maker -- the maker who is DEAD NOW -- set up for you. How dare you think I could take care of this little problem for you. If you needed that much proof of my love, well, you can simply forget it. I'm glad I saved Sam. Sam has been a better friend to me that you ever have."
As she said it, she was aware of things clicking into place and a new and amazing idea bloomed in her mind.
"Sam has always been there for me. He has always been my friend. He has always been kind to me, even when I didn't deserve it. We have been friends for so long.
"We kissed you know," she said, remembering sitting on the same couch in Sam's arms. "If Bill hadn't walked in right then, who knows what would have happened."
"I'd sure like to find out."
Sam's drawl rocketed thorough the room, surprising both Sookie and Eric.
"Chere, I know I'd be dead right now if you hadn't done whatever it is you did," he said, staring at her with a new, soft light in his eyes. "I'm looking forward to finding out."
"Eric, it's time for you to go," Sookie said, realizing she meant it with all her heart. "You go back to Shreveport and we'll talk more about this later. Sam and I have some catching up to do."
Eric was staggered, horrified that his selfishness had now cost him the one thing he had wanted since she sashayed into his bar.
"Sookie, please," he began.
"Eric, don't make me rescind my invitation to you. Please, for once, be a gentleman and leave," Sookie said steadily. "Go now."
He left.
She turned to face Sam almost shyly. It had come back to her that the Cluviel dor only worked if the wish she made was based in love.
"Hi Sam. You hungry? I'll fix you something."
At that moment, a voice she loved interrupted her sun-drenched reverie.
"Shug, lunch is ready. You want to grab the kids and come inside now?" Sam said.
"Yup. We're on our way," she said, recalling their brief courtship, his sweet proposal, their simple and lovely wedding and her surprise pregnancy which probably happened on their honeymoon in Miami.
~~~
The rest of "Dead Ever After" would be the details of her conversations with Bill and Eric, Eric's decisions about Freyda and the vampires' final acceptance of Sookie's real love for Sam Merlotte and how they would carry on with their eternal lives without Sookie Stackhouse, who had made her choice and moved on.

Day 12: How I Would End the Final Book, Part 1

I'm not Charlaine Harris and I'm glad I'm not, but if I could creep into her consciousness long enough to write the final Sookie Stackhouse book, "Dead Ever After," here's what I would do.
I'd set it five years from the end of "Deadlocked."
~~~
 Sookie would by lying outside her much-improved home on her chaise, soaking up the sun, and not far away would be a kiddie pool with two small children splashing away.
Sam would walk out the front door, carrying a plate of raw hamburgers and hot dogs. The grill would be heating up nearby and he'd stop by the chaise and give Sookie a loving kiss right on the mouth, saying, "Hey there, Sook."
"Hi, honey," Sookie would answer. "You might want to put a little more sunscreen on Sammy and Adele. The last thing they need is a sunburn."
"Sure," Sam said. "Right after I get this meat on the grill."
As the meat sizzles, Sam picks up his twins and with a lot of giggling and hugs, he re-applies suncreen to his little blonde children.
"What's up for tonight?" he asks.
"I think Eric and Bill both are coming over to see their 'teacup human' godchildren, and Jason and Michelle will be bringing Jason Jr. over and they're going to babysit so you, me, Eric and Bill can go out for dinner tonight to celebrate our anniversary."
"Which one?" Sam asks with a twinkle in his eye.
"Oh, all of them," Sookie replies airily.
Closing her eyes again, Sookie thinks back to how this all came about. She never thought it would end like this.
Five years ago tonight, she brought back Sam from the dead, using the Cluviel dor. Eric wouldn't return her calls and Bill was impressed she had stood up to the Viking. She knew Bill expected that she would run back to him right after Eric said he was going to marry Freyda.
Eric surprised everyone. He broke of all contact with the Queen of Oklahoma and came back to Sookie, expecting for her to forgive him like she always had.
He was in for a shock. So was Bill.
She remembered the private conversation she'd had with each.
Bill checked in first, as always.
He'd come by as soon as he was up, showered and dressed. Sam and Sookie were in the house, getting ready for bed in separate rooms. After Sam was alseep,  Sookie took a deep breath and walked into her living room.
She had told him then that breaking their bond was the best thing she had ever done. She was free to be with her human friends, to do things that lasted all afternoon into the night without worrying about who would think what when a vampire walked in.
She hugged him then, a warm, close hug, and whispered into his ear, "Bill, I will always love you because you were my first love, first in so many things. You made me the woman I am today, but I will never be yours. Never."
Bill was quite surprised, but stepped back and took a good look at her.
"You've changed," he said, stunned. "I believe you mean this."
"Oh, I do, Bill. I do," she said.
The handsome vampire stayed a while longer, drinking a glass of True Blood and considering what the woman he would love for eternity had said. He began to realize she meant it.
After a few hours, he bade her good night and with a kiss to her forehead, he left.
She was asleep on her couch in front of her TV when she heard another knock on her front door. She had no doubt who it was.
~~~