Day 4: Takin' Care of Bubba's business

I love Bubba.
Hey, I adore Sookie, Bill, Eric, Pam and all the others in Sookie Stackhouse's literary universe, but I love Bubba.
For those who are "True Blood" purists and don't crack open the SVM books, here's the deal.
When Elvis Presley died in 1977, there was a vampire secretly working in the morgue (they hadn't yet come out of their coffins). And, even though The King had been pronounced dead some time before, this vampire sensed a spark of life deep within the drug-riddled corpse.
And, while the spark was there, it was a mistake to try to blow it back into the full flame that was Elvis. Try though he might, the vampire couldn't resurrect the man who used to be Elvis.
What he got was a big guy who looked, moved and sounded exactly like the super-sized version of the singer, but any memory he had of who he used to be was gone. He was a scared, erratic, simplified version of the superstar.
 He became so upset when anyone called him by his given name his maker started referring to him as the "Man from Memphis" and it quickly devolved to Bubba and was important to keep his existence a big secret. He can sing when he wants to, but no one dares remark on who he sounds like because when he is upset, he tends to wander off and people start reporting Elvis sightings at all sorts of places.
What touches me about Bubba was his instant liking of one telepathic waitress. For some reason, he can see her gentle soul and likes to hang out in her woods, feeding off unfortunate feral cats and protecting Sookie.
For her part, the first time she saw the "Man From Memphis" she was floored. She got the Cliffs Notes version of "Bubba 101" and a friendship was born. She treats him with a sweet courtesy reserved for a favorite relative, making sure that relative is well fed and in bed by dawn.
Think of how cool that is.
Sookie could talk to any vampire and casually mention "Bubba came by last night to watch me eat a peanut butter and banana sandwich," or "I thought I heard something in the woods last night and when I went out on the porch to check, it was just Bubba singing 'Burnin' Love.'"
Now that's the kind of party conversation I'd like to overhear.
It speaks well of Bill that Bubba also trusts him. Bill treats him like a young boy, promising treats and surprises so Bubba will comply freely with Bill's wishes.
I secretly wish Bubba would show up on "True Blood," but I fully understand why it probably won't happen.
First, Elvis Presley Enterprises is extremely particular about whom they let use The King's likeness, sing his songs, or pretend to be the Real Deal.
Second, EPE probably wouldn't care for Elvis being portrayed as a brain-addled vampire nicknamed Bubba.
Also, the royalties due for any song Bubba sang would probably be tremendous, and Bubba wouldn't be Bubba if he didn't at least hum some of his favorite songs.
If, however, EPE could see the humor of the situation like I do and said yes, I'd like to see singer/songwriter Chris Isaac play the part. He  has the look, the swagger and the voice, if not the girth, to pull it off. Still, I'm sure somewhere in this wide world is a man who could do justice to the part of Bubba.
When this happens, I'll call HBO and say, thankyouverymuch.